Bare Body Sushi

You’ll never guess how I spent NYE 2015…
I laid on a table, wearing nothing but tiny undergarments and flowers… Covered in sushi and sashimi.

This ancient Japanese practise dates back to the time of the Samurai and is called NYOTAIMORI which translates to: ” serve ___ (usually foods) on a females body.”

I showed up to Gohan Sushi Lounge in the downtown core of Calgary on 8th and 8th SW. Naturally I stopped to see Tara before hand to get my hair and makeup done, so I looked lovely and ready to rock. I was given a Playboy robe and told to change in the bathroom into a nude thong and bra.

When I came out I laid on the soft, black table, while the girl glued fresh flowers to my bra and placed them between my legs, thus turning my Vagina into a Vagarden. Once she was done positioning all the flowers the chef came out with plates of beautiful sushi and sashimi and laid them all around me.

He then brought out an ice cold banana leaf and laid it over my torso. I was sort of cold before. I was absolutely freezing at this point. He then placed these meticulously made, beautiful little sushi rolls on my stomach. Once the chef left the people of the restaurant crowded around me like lions after a kill! I’ve never seen people so excited over sushi! It really made me want to sit up and eat some! But I couldn’t so I lay flat and did my job.

It is such a strange sensation when someone pushes on a sushi roll over your stomach. It honestly feels like they’re grabbing parts of your insides with chopsticks and taking them away. Almost like you’re that old board game “operation” and everyone takes their turn with their tweezers, or in this case, chopsticks to pull out the critical part without hitting the sides. In my instance the problem wasn’t hitting my sides but dropping the sushi!

I had a few ladies drop it on me and when I began to laugh they were so shocked and said “oh! You can talk!” Yes. Yes I can.
I would then tell them it’s ok for the ladies to use their hands if they accidentally dropped it, however one gentleman did so as well without my permission and I kind of scowled at that.
Just when you think you’re warmed up and all the tummy sushi is gone, the chef brings out a fresh, cold banana leaf and spreads it over your stomach, and lays new, cold, sushi on top. It definitely takes serious discipline to stay still for 3 hours.
Some people asked how I kept track of time. I told them I would do what dad and I did on road trips as a kid when there wasn’t a car clock. He’d tell me there was an hour left, I knew the average song was 3-4 mins. So that meant there was between 15-20 songs TIL we reached our destination. So just like a little 5yr old I counted the songs all night in my head to distract myself from the cold.

Near the end one gentleman came and warmed my feet for me and I was extremely grateful for that! Some of the ladies were so lovely they gave me great compliments and I took photos with everyone after.
Mind you I could’ve smacked the one waitress (jokingly) who joked after I got up off the table she smelled the flowers from the Vagarden and said “oh wow they still smell nice!!!”
Cheeky wench! Lol
Good joke though. Almost jealous I didn’t think of it!
If you’re a sushi/sashimi fan and you want to try an age old experience, head down to Gohan Sushi Lounge!!

Hair and makeup by :


This entry was posted in beauty, blog, brunette, calgary, flowers, Food, funny and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Bare Body Sushi

  1. Joash says:

    I was DJing there that night!
    Honestly was trying my best to play some good tunes because I couldn’t imagine how bored you must have been.
    I’m glad you used the music as a coping mechanism.

    Liked by 1 person

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