He’s just not that into you…. If he makes you erase parts of yourself.

You may have seen the movie, but who actually read the book “He’s just not THAT into you?”

The very core of the book teaches us that the right person will love us NO MATTER WHAT. No compromise, no sacrifice, just at face value.

The problem with this is, women often don’t understand men and vice versa. We speak completely different languages, and with all the nuances and expectations one is expected to uphold, do we ever really know the person we’re with? How many walls have you broken down with your partner? Can you honestly say you can be RAW with each other? And I don’t mean kinky sex, I mean tell each other the shit you would never, ever, ever tell anyone else. Trust them with your being 200%. I bet a bunch of you are shaking your head right now, because truthfully, had you asked me this 3yrs ago I probably would’ve burst into tears.

Women, and well some men, but mostly women, have this image in our head of what our life and true love will be. We obsess on it so much that we will chip away at parts of ourselves to fit a mould that was never meant for us. We stuff ourselves into these casings that trap us indefinitely, until we’re able to break free and remember who the Hell we were before we broke so many pieces off.

My entire romantic life, I’ve fought my partners about my writing. My first major boyfriend took a clipped folder I had of poems that I had written in times of my teens (when I was so inebriated my very breath could’ve been bottled and sold as a new drug,) and tossed them in a fire, then pinned me back as I tried to rip them from its flame. I squirmed in agony screaming, as every lick of flame consumed the pages that contained ounces of my soul. There’s no way I could ever recreate the frame of mind I was in when I wrote them, I’ve been sober from anything hard for decades. That perspective was one of a kind, not unlike Hunter S. Thompson’s work, the way it illuminated all the parts of me that were dark and disturbing… the fears I had confronted and attacked on paper…. They were destroyed….

Again in my 30’s I was urged by my partner to remove my blog… and I did. I let it die for 3yrs, completely losing my domain to some goddamn Chinese clickbait bullshit, furthermore they stole my .com and now I’m being cursed with a .ca address… anyone who knows SEO knows how much of a kick to the teeth that is. While Canadians know what .ca stands for, go and ask the rest of the world what it means!?? EVERYONE KNOWS .com!!!! (Clearly I’m still not over this… I digress…)

Ladies, gents, all those in-between and on their way, if anyone you “love” is ever threatened by your art, or something you’re passionate about, they’re just not that into you.

Read that again.

If anyone you “love” is ever threatened by your art, or something you’re passionate about, they’re just not that into you.

Art is an expression of the soul. If a partner cannot handle your inner wild, the goddess who sings through words or painting, then they are not for you. Carry on being that wild thing until you find “someone just as wild to run along side you.”( Carrie BradShaw, before Sex and the City became a political platform for the current agenda…. That’s another talk for another day… RIP SATC)

Never, ever, tame your wildness, your passion, your art. If it gives you life, breathe air into that fire every single chance you get.

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