It’s amazing the clarity I experience on Valentine’s Day every year. Last year (as u may recall) i discovered my ex has cheated on me and kicked him out of my car, left him stranded in the snow, drove home and broke down crying in front of my parents. A year later, that cut was so deep it’s as though it hasn’t healed but is merely a scab, one that is easily caught and torn off, allowing it to bleed more and more. I don’t allow myself to get as excited as I once did. I’m constantly on edge, questioning people’s actions and wondering when they’re going to hurt me next.
Since then I’ve witnessed a world filled with greed, selfishness, and pain among those who claim to be happily coupled… So how can I ever have faith in humans as a whole? There are a handful of people who I trust, but will I ever trust a man enough to give him what’s left of my heart? And worse, if I do, will he actually trust and love me back? I feel like I’m losing more of what’s loveable day by day. Im just a decent looking dictionary with a couple cats….
When did I become this jaded?