While watching “Luminaries” on Amazon Prime, I was stunned by a line Anna Wetherall says to Dick Mannerig when she taunts him with the following statement. (Background, she is now a prostitute and he is her pimp 1800’s ish):

“You think you know what men want? That’s not why they come…

They come because whatever ugliness they feel they want me to feel it worse. That’s what they pay for… every man, wants his whore to be unhappy… I’m exactly what they want…”

This statement hit me like a ton of bricks. Countless times I’ve been cheated on with women who were less appealing, “easy,” complete opposites of what I knew my partners were attracted to… but what did all of these encounters have in common?

All of these acts of infidelity were spawned by men holding so much darkness inside… perhaps cheating wasn’t always for the sexual thrill? But rather for the dominance, the hatred, the need to shed some darkness they hold with someone they feel nothing for. Often men use sex as an outlet for rage, why not when they can’t process their emotions?

Let’s be clear, I’m not condoning it by any means, it just never occurred to me that men could cheat or seek company with an “undesirable” for anything other than animalistic lust… it appears I was wrong…

And honestly this makes so much sense…